2006.05.17 Wed - Life Is A Series of Transitions

In first grade, I went to Lanham International private school (the only year of private school I've been in). I dunno if it had much to do with the name, but my best friends were a South Asian Indian girl and an African American boy. I wonder if people were amazed at our color mix as I am, now looking back at how close we were. I'm sad that I don't even remember their names.

Music or (good) cologne is always nice, but I'd rather serve alongside people, or at the least be spending time with you.

You can tell a lot about people by how they treat others who are NOT their friends.

How do you tell if someone genuinely cares, or if 1) they just want/need something from you or 2) they mainly care about whether they are a "good" person (although there is no such thing)?

Google Notebook debuted yesterday. Good idea, but I wonder how useful it'll be. Hopefully it'll improve.

I'm performing a swing lindyhop routine this Saturday at a Sonoma Valley winery for a "Make A Wish Foundation" benefit. They're really an amazing organization. Imagine if your job brought huge amounts of happiness and tears of joy from kids. Perhaps I'm only looking at the good side, but I imagine I'd love to go to work, and I'd come home happy. Come watch! You only need to come dressed in your croquet white and pay $200 a person... *gulp*. Here's a rough version of what we'll be performing... We need work: "Jam Session" @ Golden Gate Park with Yon Na

This photo was taken almost 2 years ago when Melody Cline & Estée Wang were still around. This night, we were at the "Top of The Mark" lounge on the top floor of the InterContinental Mark Hopkins hotel in SF. They have (had?) live swing music and a small floor there every Thursday night. It's not like we 3 even had that much in common. I'm a boy, they're girls; Melody's white, Estée & I are Asian; Estée's from the West Coast, Melody & I are from the Best Coast, etc. ;) But yeah, we would just go swingin' a lot, like 4 times a week sometimes. I miss 'em. Estée's now at Harvard (wow), and Melody's back in Delaware gettin' married (WOW). I doubt they'll ever see this, but May God richly bless you two, His beloved.

2006.03.09 Thu - Upcoming Stanfurd Testimony Christian A Cappella CD: "Accelerate"

Shameless self promotion: Click on the pink heading above for various clips, download this one, or check my Xanga page background music. It's majorly processed, but still a lot of fun to hear/sing. :) CD's will be on sale starting at our May 6, 2006 show (officially that is, 'cuz they may be available earlier). Pre-orders can be made now from the tmony website linked above.

2006.02.13 Mon - Deceit

Aww, look at this cutie. Her name is "Baby" and I was cat-sitting her. Only problem was, I hadn't gotten around to asking the owners of the house I live in until AFTER I'd already taken delivery of the cat (to help out an acquaintance in need). Woops. So when I got around to asking, I was told, "Our family is allergic to pets. Please do not bring a cat into the house. Oh yeah, and I'm flying in tomorrow afternoon." ?!? I scrambled to have the cat taken away, and spent the night cleaning, scrubbing, vacuuming away. *sigh* But alas, I ended up telling the owner a couple of weeks later about it. A guilty conscience is sometimes all we have visibly left of the Holy Spirit when we're living in sin. Hopefully discipline will mature me into not having to do such silly things later in life.

2006.01.14 Sat - Looking Ahead

Haven't posted anything in awhile, so I'll just spit out random thoughts:

Interesting article:
One logical article re: Evolution vs. Intelligent Design and interesting site in general.

Interesting site:
Apologetics and questions about Christianity and truths

I think I'll be out of the Bay Area (after 11 years) by the end of this summer.

Seminary or overseas short term missions (1 - 2 years initially) would be where I'm going.

Restlessness due to lack of close friends in the South Bay and a number of serious temptations distracting me and taking up brain time are some of the reasons why I'm going.

I came to UC Berkeley for school despite my dad's desire for me not to and my family's hard financial situation, just so I could be relatively close to a gf who was going to go to Stanfurd (instead of staying at the much cheaper in-state school).

I was spending hardly any money this past year (didn't buy new clothes AT ALL for the whole year except for one sweater from BR). But now I'm spending again (new computer, missions conferences, car repairs, clothes), please pray for responsibility and good stewardship.

I sang at an ex gf's wedding last May. I was so honored and humbled by her and her fiance's request. Four of my ex gf's are now married. Yesterday, another ex gf asked if I'd be willing to be in her wedding party. ?!? I didn't know guys could be on that side of the wedding party, but I'm honored and humbled all the same.

This picture was the Berkeley Mosaic church's drama/skit team at 2 years ago's medical missions trip to Ensenada, Mexico. I miss them. I miss the life I had in Berkeley. It's not there anymore (most friends have left the area), so I'm antsy to find it again somewhere else.

I once gave up a job to live with and work for Jet Li 'cuz of a gf that wouldn't be able to travel with me.

For years now, I force myself to say "I love you" at the end of phone conversations with my lil' sis', lil' bro', or dad. I'm hoping it'll one day be natural. I still haven't done so with my mom, stepmom, or stepdad.

Especially with girls, I talk about ex gf's a lot partly 'cuz I hope it'll help keep me single.

I'm tired of being single.

I'm scared that I'm not ever gonna feel ready to date again.

I pray for celibacy.

I'm definitely still not celibate.

I fight such internal battles all the time because I must be honest with who I am, but never satisfied until I'm perfect in Christ, ever striving towards the prize and goal.

I don't like cars as much as I'm crazy about the act and art of driving, especially with others (follow the leader or laps on the track). I get tingles when I take a turn just right.

I don't like women as much as I'm crazy about how people (with men or women) relate. I get tingles when I connect with someone (whether a girl or guy).

I don't like listening to music as much as I'm crazy about creating it with others. I get tingles when jam sessions or circle songs (a cappella) take on a life of their own and afterwards, we're all like, "woa..."

I like tingles. But a good friend that knows me well is scared that I'm losing that "butterfly in my stomach" and "in the moment" spontaneity. I think I just need to grow up.

I've been considering missions for years now (since I went to Urbana '96 missions conference), but debt and gf's have been what hold me back from going.

I see nothing wrong with moving across the country or world to be with a girl/guy. That would be the "butterfly in my stomach" Ben speaking.

The new BMW SMG transmissions are great from a performance/numbers perspective, but the "ultimate driving machine" requires a clutch. The new M5's only come with an SMG. Boo BMW.

I miss driving in Europe.

I miss Marc Rice (who I'm pretty sure won't see this). He's one of the few (if only) males I've been able to connect with on so many levels (beliefs, musically, relationally, jokingly, driving). But I'm glad he's growing up, even if it means leaving me behind. Congratulations dude. Jasmine's a lucky gal'.

I know that I'm not bad but also not that good at any of my passions (understanding His Word, creating music, driving cars, dancing, loving people).

My major in college (Cognitive Science) speaks volumes about me: "Jack of many trades, master of none."

I need to repair my relationship with my mom, but don't know how. God help us.

I love my dad, but I feel like we don't have a father-son relationship. I feel like my mom robbed me of that. I've hurt my mom a lot in the past by "siding with my dad".

I was never homesick when I came to Cali from Mary's Land for college because I hated my mom's home and I never was really a part of my dad's.

I hate divorce.

If I could only succeed in one thing, I hope it would be in loving and raising a godly family.

I'm naive.

I've thought a lot about marriage since I was in kindergarden. I remember playing tag in kindergarden and I would run slower whenever she (I forget her name) was "it" and was chasing me.

more later...

2005.12.01 Thu - College church? friends? same difference?

This is a poor quality version of the EFC/Harvest Berkeley class of 2001 senior night video. (Smugmug limits the file size, so let me know if you want the higher quality version). Anyhow, for old Harvesters that wanna reminisce, I've uploaded a bunch of old videos, mostly from Andy Wu's archive CD's. I know there are more around somewhere, so gimme gimme so I can post 'em as well. Mike Lee & Amy Lu are now married down here in South Bay, Andy Wu's married and in Taiwan being a house-hubby, Luke Tso's at pharmacy school, Christina Fu's was until recently serving in the missions field in South Central LA, Annie Chang's still in Berkeley at optometry school, Bernice Ng's at med school, and Betsy Wang's at seminary up in Canada. The entry heading links to Betsy Wang's homepage. I miss Betsy. :)

More videos:http://benyu.smugmug.com/gallery/831913
http://benyu.smugmug.com/gallery/831904

More videos, mixed in amongst the photos:http://benyu.smugmug.com/gallery/799701

There are other albums with videos too, but I'm too lazy to search for 'em. :p

2005.11.25 Fri - Minus the booze and the dancing

(This pic is from years ago what used to be called The Bellagio in SF...) Like an open bar at a K-club, the Banana Republic Factory Store at Gilroy's Midnight Madness was packed with Asians and BR clothes:

In short...
Turkeys eaten for Thanksgiving lunch while at work: 1 (Microwave Turkey Pot Pie)
Turkeys eaten for Thanksgiving dinner: 0
Boba drinks consumed before AND after dinner: 3
Friends I ate Thanksgiving dinner with: 1
Cars driven to get to the Muslim Chinese restaurant: 2
Friends I drove to Gilroy Outlets: 3
Minutes past midnight (start of sale) we arrived: 15
Cashiers processing sales at BR Factory Store: 6
People packed into BR Factory Store: 400 (approx.)
People in line to pay for items at BR Factory Store: 300
Minutes standing in cashier line at BR Factory Store: 140
Heads I was tall enough to see over at BR Factory Store: 395
Non-East-Asians in BR Factory Store: 5
Total Gilroy stores visited: 5
Hours total spent at Gilroy: 6
Total clothing items purchased by friends: 12
Total items purchased by me: 0
Hours late I arrived for work the next morning: 3
A silly night of shopping until past 6AM the morning after Thanksgiving: I wouldn't quite say 'priceless', but definitely a lot of fun. :)

2005.11.24 Thu - Way out of context

"...And when you offer a sacrifice of thanksgiving to
the Lord, offer it of your own free will.

On the same day it shall be eaten; you shall leave
none of it until morning: I am the Lord." ~ Leviticus 22:29-30

2005.11.22 Tue - Gainful Employment

I thought this was pretty cute/funny. Thanx to Xiaowei for the junk mail. Although I don't personally play games while at work (except for when I'm sitting on the throne with my cell phone games), but this is definitely fitting for some I know. :D ha ha...

2005.11.22 Tue - Digital Age and Soft Projects fraud

As a warning, CHECK YOUR CC STATEMENTS for relatively small charges from "Soft Projects LLC" and/or "Digital Age". I got hit a couple months ago by two fraudulent charges and almost didn't even notice until yesterday. They're relatively small charges which is why they have a better chance of sneaking through undetected, but they may try to hit your account multiple times over some months. Here's an article with more names which the fraudulent charges could be under. Apparently this is thought to be a result of the major theft of credit card accounts some months ago. I guess at least one of my cc's was one of those 40 million or so accounts. Doh. Anyhow, the credit card companies seem to know about this so they easily took the charge off my account without fuss and said I didn't need to change my acct. number since I'm not liable for the charges. But this makes me wonder why they don't just block it in the first place. Mreh... shady.

2005.11.15 Tue - Man Jose

San Jose's Silicon Valley area's single young adult population has a reputation of having more males than females (engineers and such), hence the nickname, "Man Jose". Maybe what this town did is the solution. :-D

This pic is from my first semester's Artists In Resonance concert. Joel Slotkin's getting stripped during his solo in George Michael's song "Freedom '90", so I figured it would be fitting for this video link. Heh...